Dear Andre,

Why homemade wine?  Why Why!

Dear Garrett,

You are so hot that I would let you fuck me even if you hadn't showered for four weeks.  Dump your girlfriend so we can fuck you.  We miss when you were so cool.  You being your whole band.    lovveelovvelove

Dear Caylee,

I want to save you.  I want to fuck the fagot up whose giving you drugs so you can play with your brother.  He makes us cry.  Oh My God Caylee don't.  It feels so good to cry sometimes.  I want to save you.  Oh my god andre, why did you make homemade wine?  

Scene

-Liquor goes to your stomach

-Alcohol goes to your brain

-Wine goes to you heart

It was this nasty nasty girl, and I thought it was you.

God is one... god is two..... THREE

This is our decision to live fast and die young.  We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.

"Only the cool kids go to Pre K"- Ronny

Maureen, you are amazing, you fucking CUNT!

woo haha aha haaha

Tempted Spice, So Soadie

I want some Sharpaigne

Dear Life,

Global warming was not caused by humans.  It was planned, you retards.  But stop trashing our environment.  We are murderers.  We are murderers.  We are killers.  Those animals lossed their lives to the greediness of US!  We ruined Mother Nature's baby.  Let's go back to the time of "Indians," back to their ways.

Dear boy on the glow-stick package:

get the fuck out

Mitchell Davis,

Please adae Maya's picture.

Dear Me,

"This is what happens when an immovable force meets an unstoppable object."

-The Dark Knight

Heath Ledger

The Joker

Dear Addie,

You're the best dog ever!!!  woo you are beautiful.

Dear Bulimia,

Why are you so powerful?  What the fuck!  Damn it!

Dear Mother Nature,

You are incredible!  And inspiring and knowledgeable.

You rock, with rocks BITCH!

Yeah!

Dear Colby from Gap,

I want you dick in my mouth!  I love you and I wish you were here!  woo we'd gang bang you and you love to party and we'd get crunk and dance to techno together!  

woooooooo!

Dear Weed,

I am undecided about you, but my family was revolved around you.  Should you be legal  YES!!  Fuck government! At least let us do whah twe want if it's safe!  No guns to kill people!  But weed, do it if you belve in it.

Dear Thumper,

You rock!  What are we playing?

Thumper

Why are we playing?

To get fucked up!

Yayy!!!  I love you. thanks for teaching me!

Dear Therapist,

you suck!  I don't want your fucking advise!  I just want biased, family-oriented, traditional, mom-ified, trusted, loving advice :)

Dear Maya,

I love you!  I really wish you were my sister! wicked bad.  Don't go to college!  I don't know what I'm gonna do without you!  I can't wait to see what happens 2morrow with Dan... shit!!!! A haha ahahahaha ahaaha!!! woo!!!  Lets do art sometime together, let's splatter paint a wall!  Someday you need to introduce I wanna be molested... by Christian Bale! Yahhh bitch! oh, you need to introduce me to your room mate and I'll let you come crash all my high school lamo parties.  hah... I love you gorgeous.  Try not to forget me when you leave!

Love always,

Jessie <3

your dumb shit

Dear face,

Stop being so ugly.

Dear water,

You fill my throat.  You fill my existence.  You are my existence.

Dear zone,

Save me, I am dying.

Dear music,

I absorb you.  Ears & heartbeats.  I'd let you eat my heart if it would save you.  You can never die.  Even if everyone was dead we would still appreciate & love you.

Dear ring pop,

You taste good when I suck you.  I could suck you all day.  You are petty, you are legit.  The taste never ends.

Dear awkward silence,

I love you because you make me feel less awkward.  You make me feel warm.

Dear Hadouken,

Let's get this party started!  No one would hurt you.  Never ever.

Dear MGMT,

Andrew! Oh Andrew!  Please love me, please fuck me, I would let you fuck me up.

Uffie,

grow those eyebrows back.  Then I would love you again.  right now I only like you.  Music is partly fashion & you're lacking it right now.

Dear

Luna Lovegood

CRANK IT UP!

I really do love so shut the fuck up about me being mad.  I love you.

Dear me when I was sixteen,

I miss you- you were happy.  You didn't throw up.  You knew who you were & you loved yourself & so many others.  You were complete- only for a few weeks but it was so fucking beautiful.  Everything made sense to you.  You were beautiful.  I miss you!  I'm two years older but I would give anything to be you.

Dear nail polish,

I paint the layers on.  Thanks for protecting me.  I love you cause bare is ugly- or at least

Dear Maine,

The band- I would fuck all of you except Pat.

(UPDATE: She would fuck Pat too.)

Dear Fafi,

I wish I had your hair.  I wish I had your artistic ability.  I wish I had your connections too.  I guess you could say I wish I was you but only kinda.  I'd rather be Keira Knightley.

Dear wristcutters: a love story,

I am inlove with you.  The end is so fucking cute!  I want to have sex w/ it.  Smile!  In underworld you can't smile, but in real life you can.

Dear Bitches,

clean up your ring pop wrappers.  I will fucking slit you throats. with a nail clipper.

Dear Butterfly,

Fly high.

<3

Maya

Dear

603

312

9269

NY!

Addie I heart you

Don't ever let them punch you last

Dear Michelle,

I never had anything against you but I'm a "bitch."  That makes me not only mad but sad.  If you were on fire I wouldn't spit on you.

Love,

Maya

Dear Dan,

you are dirt.  I hope you get buried.

Dear booze,

I love you.

Dear neck,

I hate you

Dear loud mouths,

Learn how to be quiet.  It makes you appear

Dear Seth,

I will never forgive you for abandoning me.

Dear Sky,

Thanks for being so big & for not swallowing me.

Dear Moth,

I wanna rip your wings off.

Dear Maya,

You're a booze lover and kind of a cunt.

Dear Stupid,

She has a vagina!

<3

Dear polaroids,

Thanks for rocking.  You make me think I look better than I really do.  

Dear Ruthless,

You are my favorite I love being ruthless because then I can't be hurt.

Dear headband,

I thought I lost you but then I looked at my wrist & there you were!  Are you magical?

Dear Addie,

You da bomb!  I'm going to miss you next year.  Who will let me pet them?

Dear sluts,

if you have a boyfriend you shouldn't invest so much time talking about other boys.  Not only does that make you trashy but it means you aren't faithful.  If you don't have faith then you go till hell.

Have fun burning,

Maya

Dear Alex,

you are awkward.

Dear Fakes.

Become real!

<3

Maya

Dear Tonight.

I am in a pissy mood?  Why must you find me.  This is gay.  I hate when things go gay.

Dear Maureen,

I will miss you next year so much.  Don't forget me

<3

Maya

Dear Dale,

I'm sooooo sorry that I am a bad girlfriend, but I still love you and I hope one day you will party w/ me and we can spend our lives together!!!

<3

Carly (your babygirl)

Dear Momma,

I love you and am soooooooooo proud of you.  I miss you more everyday and you inspire me the most.

I love you Mom,

Jessie <3

Dear Jac Vanek,

I am wearing your bracelet I love it, I hated you. once but not anymore.

Dear Blue,

You are the best color ever!

Dear Metro Station,

I hate you as people but your music is fucking ace!

Dear life,

you rock!

Dear Addie,

Maya loves you.

Dear Alex,

thanks for the marker.

Dear wearecrackwhores,

we love you! Thanks for rocking!

<3

Mo&Me

Fuck

me Oscar!

Dear Johno,

I wanna fuck your brains out! For real. Wanna love me cause I love you!

<3

Maya

Dear Mason,

you are short and fat! Cut your bangs!

Hot Celebs We Want to Fuck!

Christian Bale

Hayden Christensen

Camden "Never Back Down"-other one

Jamie Bell

Johnny Depp

Orlando Bloom

Heath Ledger

Johnny Knoxville

Chris Brown

Brad Pitt

Justin Timberlake

Adam Siska

Butcher

William Beckett

David Beckham

Gabe Saporta

Trace Cyrus

Steve-O -> $250 only!

Ryan Gosling

Michael Cera

Benjamin Mackenzie

Adam Brody

Jared P.

Jude Law

Prison Break Guy

wolf pack wolf pack wolf

vanessa carlton white houses white houses

Dear Mickey Mouse,

You rock!  I wear you on my boobies.

Dear Short hair,

I like long hair better than you.

<3

Maya

Dear Soda,

Thanks for being fuzzy. & bubbly.

Dear Monkey Business,

You are so funny.  Thanks for existing.

<3

Maya

Dear Bluebells,

Best flower ever!

WOLF

Pack!

Dear Johno,

For real, fuck me!

Dear Love,

Please find me!

<3

Maya

Kathleen,

I love you so much, you do not bring out the worst of me, you bring out the best in me and I love you for that I"m so glad I met you, you are one of my best friends.  I love you so much thanks for being my friend I LOVE YOU girl!

Dear Kathleen:

You were very mean to me ever since 7th grade. haha. Sixth grade was a fun time.

Dear the fuck face that is my biological father:

You are a low life fucking Scum bag who doesn't deserve to be living.  I hate how you embarrassed me with your cunt of a wife at the baseball field.  I fucking want to punch you in the face for all the things you said to kristen.  You fucked her up with your words and you deserve to burn in hell for it.  When I was younger and you chose her son over your own, what the fuck.  If I had the chance to fucking punch you in the face, I would, you piece of shit.  Fuck you and your family douchebag, burn in hell.

From:

your ex-son

Dear Daddy,

We love you.  You are amazing.

<3

M&K

Dear Vanilla Cupcakes with Chocolate Frosting and M&Ms,

You are the most delicious things I have ever tasted.  I would kill to have another of you.

Dear Addie,

You are so cute!  You are my second favorite dog.

Dear Ronnie,

Your mouth is blue.  That's weird.

FAMOUS MEN I WANT TO FUCK:

Sean Bean

Johnny Depp

Skeet Ulrich

Heath Ledger

Viggo Mortenson

Edward Norton

Orlando Bloom

Shia LaBeauf

Brad Pitt

Casey Affleck

Leo DiCaprio

River Phoenix

Jamie Bell

James MacAvoy

I love Keira Knightley!  She's so hot!

Dear Chris and Nick,

My god we want you.  Come to Mass and FUCK US! HOTT! YOU ARE HOTT! fuck us! 

I think that you guys are too full of yourself with every girl loving you.  Come back to earth and meet all the other hott guys that are way hotter than you, just not as successful.

Please put the fat attack video back on Youtube!  It's the best.

Dear Dan,

thank you for dropping out of the fuckiest band! we will interview you.

Dear Santa Claus,

I'm really sad you're not real  I believed in you for a really long time!

Dear Aunt Lynne,

Jessica is not an alcoholic!  She is my cousin.  And alcoholism runs in the family so don't try to fight it.  It's inevitable we are all going die in rehab. 

YEAH MOM!

<3

Jess&Mo

Dear Colt 45,

Thanks for being trashy & cheap.  Love you.

Dear bananas,

You are gross.

Dear Maggie,

You are awesome!

<3

Maya

Dear steve-o,

I am a young girl who wants your dick in me, anywhere.  I"m sure you have lots of girls that love you, but no one wants you as bad as me, trust me!  

call me sexxxy,

if you want PUSSAY

notes are for gay girls.

The movie!

annoyed girls are dumb!

some people are SO FUCKING stupid (gay)

she thinks she smart

cyoa!

C.W.h

notes dy

i want to go HOME

MEAN GIRLS GET STABBED

Choose Your Own Adventure!

foxes and bunnies.  fire and snow.  we're all just lost, don't know which way to go!

FUCK SHIT UP!

It says "talk to listen..." oh, press talk to listen!

college college college college college

fuck shit up.  fuck shit up.

Chris Purcell is a fucking god.

Chris Purcell.  Chris Purcell.  Chris Purcell.

HDKN. H! HADOUKEN!

I said, "No you don't."  NO YOU DON'T!

Drink till you're fucking dead.

Choose your own mother-fucking adventure.

Mean Girls Get Stabbed.

ELEPHANT && CASLTE.

alcohlism. alcoholism. alcoholism. alcoholism.

hello? HELLO!

gosh damn!

"Can you bring some coke or something, not cocaine, but like coca-cola?"

Dear Dan,

Fuck you up your god damn ass hole.  I hope you get raped by a 40 year old body building man with a massive massive dick and he rips your fucking ass into five pieces.  Then, while you're crying I will kick you in the balls and spit in your eye.  And then I will chop your fingers off and stick them up your ass and laugh while you cry.  Haha.

Dear Mike,

I just can't get over it.  I can't understand how you can be such a blatant backstabber and then not even get what you did wrong.  I just don't fucking understand it.  You're an anomaly, a fucking anomaly.  And also a damn asshole.

Dear Chris L.

You are gay and stupid.  Cigarettes are cool.

Dear Cunts,

You scared us.

Dear Chris Purcell,

Please, please, please, please fuck me.  I fucking love you more than anything.  Honestly, if you came to my house and said, "Please fuck me now," I would ripe off my clothes and do you immediately.  I want you. 

Maya,

I love you so fucking much!

Dear Bulimia,

I love you, but I hate you.  You're addicting and I can't quit you.

Dear Chinese Government,

Are you even fucking humans?  I can't believe you treat your fellow race with such disregard.  You sit by while the children of your own country are snatched from their parents and sold on the black market.  You sell murder weapons to brutal military regimes and don't flinch.  You vote against help for innocent women and men and children for the profit of your own country.  You're selfish and I hate you so much.  If you were a single person standing in front of me, I would beat you to death with my bare hands.  And I would love it.

Hatefully,

Maureen Frances Flanagan 

Keira Knightley,

You so pretty.  I don't believe that bad stuff about

Ian Thurpe,

I loved you once.

RIVER,

live. you can live inside me. any day.

The Hole,

You are disturbing.

Dear lungs,

collapse again & again.  over & over.  the rhythm.

Dear Mystic River,

Sean Penn back up your facts asshole.  You killed a poor man.  And then you went to a fucking parade.

Dear goodbyes,

I'm sorry I am so bad to you.  I cannot accept you.  I cannot take you seriously.  You are a bad joke turned golden yet you cannot set me free.

Dear movies,

You are not real.  You are fake.  You trick people into believing that life is so much better.  It is unsatisfying. 

Dear child molesters,

Get sucked up by a twister.

Dear Cory Kennedy,

Give me your life.  I hate your ads for sebastian.  You are better.

Dear Tattoos,

You hurt, but you are there forever, you will forever on my hip.  I will regret you but in the best way possible.

Dear Five Dimensions,

Explore my mind & break the caves.  Hide within but never fail.  I am the soul inside your ink.

Dear Heartsrevolution,

Choose my own adventure!

Dear bulimia,

You are killing me!

Dear Steve-o,

You are nasty.  Kathleen deserves better.

Dear Mitchell Davis,

Ohio sucks, come to Maine & fuck me hard.  You are genius! I love your videos.  They make me wanna make love to Youtube.

Dear cheaters,

Burn in hell.  Get raped in jail.

Dear Jr. High,

You are brutal.  You made me hate myself--doubt myself.  I hate you so much.

Dear Beauty,

Find me.