Dear Moses H,

Although you slept with a married woman, the same as Gersbach, I feel that his indiscretion was greatly worse than yours.  Clearly what you did to that poor sick man was awful either way, but it wasn't as bad.  You didn't know the man; although you met him once, he was generally an abstract, unreal thing to you.  It is easy to convince yourself a person doesn't exist when you never face him.  It's not like you spoke to him everyday, used him for job positions, pretended to help him, pretended to sympathize with him, pretended to love him.  It's not like you were his best friend, as Gersbach claimed he was to you.  If Gersbach truly loved you, truly cared for you, he could never have done what he did.  Even if he truly believed you were insane, he should never have betrayed you so viciously and easily.  Gersbach is not a man, he is a fiery monster who feeds on the trust and respect of intelligent men, of worthy men.  He is a "beast of waste and desolation."

Dear Asian RA on 3rd floor,

I'm so sorry to have contributed to your distress this past Friday.  I know excuses are annoying but I feel like I should explain.  You see, I'm very unstable and on the brink of insanity.  My inability to speak seriously to people about it leaves me with the option of self-medication.  So basically I become belligerently drunk whenever I get the chance (unless I'm in a very good place (mentally) at the moment).  My instability eventually caused an eating disorder to develop.  Sadly I am too weak to simply not eat so for a long time I was bulimic.  Bulimia wasn't cutting it though:  I didn't lose much; it was hard to hide; I couldn't always purge in time; etc.  So when my brother told me he had Ritalin, I snatched at the opportunity.  The night I saw you, I had been without Ritalin for a week and had gained an unsightly amount of weight.  I was utterly desperate.

At first I thought you were an uber bitch, but now I realize you were just doing your job to keep us safe and out of trouble.  I thank you greatly for not writing me up and I promise to try my hardest to not be a problem in the future.

Dear Professor Mo,

I am so sorry that nobody comes to your lecture.  I come everyday even if I'm tired or sick.  I don't come to listen to the lectures or to take notes, I come because I love your enthusiasm.  It makes me smile when you get so excited about the universe.  To be honest, the universe makes me feel scared.  When I get messed up I cry sometimes about how pathetically insignificant we are.  And although I find the universe interesting, I just can't wrap my head around the idea that it's infinite.  It's too much to comprehend so I just don't listen.  But I do come everyday.

Maureen

PS. I like your new haircut.